Faith and Grief: Navigating the Loss of a Loved One
I've often heard of people losing their faith and being angry at God after losing a loved one.
I didn't understand it though, not until today at least.
I kept telling myself I was ok, that it had happened for a reason, that although I didn't yet understand why, it would make sense in hindsight.
But my cynicism when I read Bible verses talking about God being there for us told me otherwise.
If He truly was, why would He allow this to happen?
Why would He allow this pain?
I understand now why grief causes so many people to lose faith.
You fervently believe as you're praying for the person to push through, that they will because God is a healer. You have faith and trust that God hears your prayers, because He has in the past, so why wouldn't He now? You lean into previous miracles you've experienced and you're convinced that this too will be a time when God's glory is revealed through a miracle.
And then, it doesn't happen.
Instead you're faced with the news that your loved one didn't make it.
And while your first instinct as a woman of God is to tell yourself that although you don't like the news you just received, you have to trust that God knows best, your disappointment and anger that God didn't come through for you lingers in the background.
As I navigate through this season, I want to bring that disappointment and anger to the forefront and let God work with it.
Keeping our emotions in the background does us more harm than good. Anger and confusion are normal and healthy reactions to grief.
Yes, I still love God, but in this moment, I'm sad, I'm disappointed and I'm a little angry.
How can God help me through this season if I pretend I'm ok and don't bring my TRUE feelings to Him?
If you're in a season of navigating grief and trying to hold onto your faith in the process, I pray this blog post makes you feel a little less alone in the process.
I would love to have something encouraging to leave you with, but the main thing I'm holding onto is consistent, honest and open dialogue with God.
I know that He knows best, but that doesn't bring me much comfort right now.
What does bring me comfort is knowing that this pain is an opportunity for my relationship with God to deepen on a different level.
And that's the little glimmer of hope I'm holding onto.
I’m sharing this, because I want to highlight not just the happy parts of my faith journey but the low ones as well.
I also wanted to write this for the person currently grieving the loss of a loved one and looking for some practical answers. When I was doing some research trying to refill my spirit, I could tell most of the posts that came up were written by people on the other side of grief or in a much better place. I didn’t see anything that highlighted how I felt and so if you can relate to this post, I pray it makes you feel seen.